Relationship

We are chasing the unknown. Instead of figuring out what relationships mean to us, as individuals, we are chasing after an idea of what we think relationships are. Think about it like this….before actually getting to know each individual in our life, we set expectations for them (BEFORE WE EVEN KNOW WHO THEY ARE), and we are quickly disappointed when they aren’t who we THOUGHT they should be. It could be generational ideals of what relationships look like. Even the relationships that are dysfunctional. We are doing all of the things we’ve seen in relationships. We don’t really know what works for us and instead of admitting that, we’re all acting like we have it all figured out. WE DON’T AND THAT’S OKAY. As long as you’re giving an honest effort. Life is all about relationships, yet we all haven’t figured out how they really work. It’s a constant learning experience. Time and life allow us to find new ways to build, maintain, and even walk away from certain relationships.

 I AM SPEAKING ON ALL INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS. Regardless of title.

“When you don’t know what something is for, you don’t/won’t know how to use it.”

Dynamics of Relationship

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ACCOUNTABILITY

 The reason the relationships you have in your life are in the state that they are in is well….because of you. You’ve allowed them to be this way. We are in an error of the accountability crisis! If someone is mistreating you and you’re allowing it, it is because of YOU. It’s not the other person. You’re accepting it by staying in that toxic relationship. We are in a blatant denial of accountability. It’s easier to blame other people. Some things you have to do by yourself! Save you for you. 

Stop looking to other people to give you what you need to give yourself. Love yourself before you expect that from someone else. Figure out how to love yourself.

FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF.

MAKE YOU HAPPY.

Admit when you’re wrong. Nobody is perfect. We all fall short. You ARE responsible for the way you make people feel, even if those weren’t your intentions. Admitting when you are wrong gives you an opportunity to fix the issue. Accept how your actions have made another individual feel and choose to move forward.

 UNDERSTANDING CAPACITY

People can not give you what they do not have. Understand the capacity or you’ll be wanting something from a person that they don’t have the space to give you. People can only love you at the capacity they’re able to love themselves. THIS GOES FOR YOU TOO.  People can not give you what they do not have. Some people haven’t learned or been properly taught to understand their own emotions…you can’t possibly believe they’ll understand yours. Understanding your own emotional capacity is the first step. The great news is emotional skills can be developed. We are all implementing learned behavior. Every way you are and are not is a result of what you’ve learned. It’s possible to learn another way. Only if you’re willing to, of course.

COMMUNICATION

If you can effectively communicate what needs to be improved, you have the ability to reshape your relationships. Listen to people, not just hear them; without rejection or attack. 

Have a voice. To admit that something is not working takes a certain amount of courage. Be courageous in your relationships. Stand up for yourself and don’t allow people to tell you how you should feel. Slow down and figure out what you’re getting yourself into. Get clear on the roles you’re playing in someones life, as well as the roles you play in others lives.

YOU CAN’T FIX WHAT YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT

Stop lying to yourself and other people about what you care about. You care about relationships. Life is all about relationships. Rigid denial doesn’t work. When emotions are pushed to the side or ignored, they only get stronger. YOU CARE. If you didn’t, you would not talk about it.

RECIPROCITY

I’ll leave this one short.

RECIPROCITY: the practice of exchanging things with others for mutual benefit

“ANY RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT RECIPROCITY WILL NOT LAST”

DO THE WORK

NOTHING COMES EASY. A lot of people want everything to be easy and when things don’t come that way,  people consider it to be too much. Anything you want can never be too much. You need to figure out what you want and WORK AT IT.  Work hard to create a space for communication. Every relationship and every person is different. Every relationship allows you to grow in a different way.

I am still learning and figuring things out. Just a few hard lessons I had to experience and decided to share. Still learning. Still growing.

Understand the nature of a relationship,

Melissa G.

4 thoughts on “Relationship

  1. Very good points on relationships do’s and don’ts . We should always do a self inventory of our emotions .As in times we do more dating ourselves within a relationship. A person very own desire, biological clock to family expectations can lead to infatuation, ungodly soul ties , even acrimony when thing go astray. A Relationship is the making of two into one union .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reading ❤️ thank you for the insight too, you’re absolutely right. There are so many dynamics of relationships that we must understand, starting with ourselves!

      Like

  2. I like how you touched on capacity and how people expect more emotional availability from someone than what their offering. I believe the first step is making people feel comfortable enough to be more emotionally available to you. Also like how you talked about not fixing what you don’t care about. This was a great read!

    Liked by 1 person

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