The Obligation to be Okay

Everybody is okay. Ask anybody how they’re doing, they’ll say “good”, “I’m alright”, or “I’m okay”. No explanation nor clarification, just leave it at that. People aren’t really saying how they feel because we all abide by this weird obligation to be okay. The truth is, we are not okay. Not all the time, anyway. It is okay, not to be okay sometimes.
Stop asking people how they’re doing when you greet them in passing. I’m borderline offended when someone asks me how I’m doing when they speak and they don’t care. It’s just like, why did you ask that? Who made this a greeting? Stop asking people how they’re doing and you really don’t care to hear. 

We haven taken the meaning out of the question and people never tell how they’re doing/feeling because it’s no longer anything other than a greeting. 

We know people aren’t genuinely asking how we’re doing so it’s very seldom we actually share. I guess the truth is most people don’t care about how you’re feeling and then there are the other people that are somewhat happy you’re feeling the way you feel. This statement can go either way. If I don’t have the time to listen, I will not ask. It’s to the point that when some one actually answers you, you almost get a bit uncomfortable. You’re not ready for the conversation. It’s easier to say “Okay”, and keep it moving.  

Let’s get out of that. 

It is okay, not to be okay sometimes. When someone says or does something that you don’t agree with, tell them. Stop letting stuff be “okay”. It’s not. Stop excusing poor behavior. Say how you feel because no one can read your mind and people are only going to do what they can get away with, every time. When someone tells you your behavior isn’t okay, respect that, the same way you’d want them to do when you express. 

Respect other people’s feelings. It might mean nothing to you, but it could mean everything to them.” -Roy T. Bennett

Not saying you have to open up to everyone, but sometimes it’s necessary to have an outlet. Of course it’ll be someone you trust. You’ll feel a lot better once you say how you’re really feeling. If you don’t know who you could talk to, go to a therapist. He/she do not know you, plus a confidentiality agreement is involved. You aren’t crazy for talking to someone. Talk to somebody about your feelings! 

“Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.” -Sigmund Freud

Stop lying to yourself and other people saying you’re okay all the time. Nobody is, and that’s okay. 

Last thing, stop using “how are you?” as a greeting. 

4 thoughts on “The Obligation to be Okay

  1. Ok, so I feel ya on this and I do it ALL THE TIME. Sometimes I try to actually slow my walk down, if it’s a walk by “how you doin’?” In hopes they might actually tell me the truth. I’m guilty of this. I also, try to be more authentic with my responses when someone greets me that way. I’ve used, “I’ll make it.”, “eh, not great but I’ll make it”, “wish I could say ok.” But when I respond like this I still don’t stop to engage. It’s a walk by. It is so awkward. But you’re right, no one REALLY wants you to stop and tell them how you are and there are people I put on my happy “all good” face. We can be really passive as humans.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sometimes slowing down the walk still is kinda awkward and a quick exchange 🤦🏻‍♀️😩 honest responses are alarming and they can either make someone ask more questions or run the other way lol. Thank you for reading!

      Like

  2. At times we never ask ourselves “How am I doing ” until someone ask us. Then again we have to be careful when we examine ourselves and express it to others for we can be ungrateful . Now i mean ungrateful because sometimes our problem not as serious as others and can be temporary instead of permanent. So instead of worry about ourselves lets help someone else,you may feel better. God bless

    Liked by 1 person

    1. God bless, I️ do know exactly what you mean when you say ungrateful because I️ find myself with the same thoughts. When you hear the things other people go through, we often like to put our problems to the side and feel like we shouldn’t feel the way we feel about them. I️ often feel guilty sometimes.

      You’re right, we do need to ask ourselves how we’re doing. Do a self examination. Thank you the insight and thank you for reading ❤️

      Like

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