Mourning the Living.

It is hard to walk away from an interpersonal relationship, but sometimes it is NECESSARY.   The reciprocity wasn’t there, the commitment, the loyalty on their end just did not exist.  They drained you of your peace. It was downright toxic and negative to be around them.  Because your investment did not warrant a return.  This was your confidant, girlfriend, boyfriend, best friend, or family member.  When something happened you immediately thought “wait until I tell ________”. This was the person you wanted to experience everything with. Someone you trusted.

“When people show you who they are, why don’t you believe them? Why must you be shown 29 times before you can see who they really are?” –Oprah

When we do part ways with this person, it hurts. No matter what they did to make you finally make the decision to leave. You know the relationship ending was the right thing, but you’re still hurt by it. So you start to go through a process of questioning everything.  Think of what you thought was genuine, in a new light. Question every conversation, laugh, and experience you once shared with this person.

“Closure is bullshit.”

You can heal without saying goodbye to the person you lost. No, it won’t be easy. Yes, it will be worth it. You may think closure will fix the disconnect. You want to know why things happened the way they did.  That’s when you have to realize closure is for sure a personal decision, and was never intended to be a mutual agreement.

 “Closure is overrated, the only closure we need is their ending behavior. The way someone leaves things with you…after everything that you have been through, gives you all the closure you need”

After reading that, I realized the void, the hurt of past relationships is mourning: grief in its purest form. At that moment I then realized its necessary for your growth. You have to mourn someone who was once everything to you…all while they’re still living. Your life has changed. You have lost a relationship that meant something to you. You are grieving, and grief takes time. Accept things for what they are, go through the process of grief and get back to life. If you never get an apology, FORGIVE THEM ANYWAY. After all, forgiveness has very little to do with the other person, and a lot more to do with you. The longer you hold onto the resentment, the longer the other person stays in your consciousness. Let it go. At some point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but, not in your life.

“Regardless of how it goes down, life goes on”

4 thoughts on “Mourning the Living.

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